Posted in Chaos Life

Embracing Life

Do you happen to wake up in the middle of the night feeling empty then suddenly cries for no reason? People would usually call it crazy and as much as you wanted to knock these thoughts off, you’ll ended up losing yourself to get into these circle of thoughts.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I put my headsets on, playing songs that is loud enough not to hear a thing but the music, then I found myself gazing around. It’s funny! There are pictures of people talking and interacting but i hear nothing! I see the excitement on their faces. Maybe they’re talking about last night’s outing, I also gaze into a girl talking in a sad face, maybe she is just whining about not finding a dress for the party she is attending tomorrow night. I gazed around and I couldn’t stop wondering, do these strangers know they are taking a part of our lives?

Nostalgia

It’s ironic how a very small detail or one word can turn my head upside down. I put a non-stop argument with myself, I start asking questions that have no answers. I start dreaming but I know it will never come true. I come up with excuses not to blame myself, and put the blame on somebody else on life setbacks. I get angry on myself, on my family, on everything and everyone. I’m praying when will I get tired so that I’ll shush my head down, like a babies, they wouldn’t have to worries on planning their future or finding themselves, they just fall asleep within seconds.

What makes me think while looking those people, not knowing what they are going through, and not being able to tell if someone is happy or sad? Just by the look on their face, made me realize that we always give ourselves the impression that we are the only ones suffering, but it’s not! Everyone has his own battle to fight, and everyone had managed and found a way to survive. Yes, we must give ourselves some credit that at some point in time we are tough, tough to face life, enough to put us back on track again.

Posted in Treasure

Money can’t buy Love♥

In today’s world, many of us could not see the real value of people that really matters. Many are very particular with what they have, they no longer consider the value of a person around them. The most important are material things rather than intangible ones. True love cannot be measured by how much a man he has in his pocket nor on how much material things he can provide.

Many wishes for a secure future with the man they chose.

money-over-love

From a practical perspective love alone is not enough to ensure smooth and harmonious relationship. The day-to-day challenges of living a life together go beyond that of which love can provide. Financial security is very important in all aspects of life it is not definitive but it is certainly affects the way we look at our lives in the context of our relationship.

Now the big question is, the man we love or the man who promises us financial security. Always give others a chance to be the man they deserve.  If one really value the relationship, he will not allow you to complete him but rather inspire him to become a better person for you. The true measure of love is we strive best for the person we love.

Remember..more than good looks and money the man who become successful are the man who dream big and works hard to achieve those dreams.

 

 

Posted in Bittersweet, Pragma

Love yourself and love will find you

I thought everything was perfect to us until one day he said 
that I should need to forget him. I was totally shock, I asked
myself all sets of questions. My dreams was shuttered, how was
the truth could hurt so badly.  For a time, I was scared to 
face the world. I felt all people wanted to hurt me. At the 
end of the day he proved to all that he is a responsible man. All he said was sorry.  I look straight to his eyes but his 
tears melted my heart instantly.  

I cried enough, but the person who am I shedding tears, don’t deserve it.

It’s a sad fact!

It is really painful if the one we love will leave us.  Sometimes we can think to end our sufferings but even how much it hurt, we don’t have reason to think of something that can hurt ourselves.

People do irrational things when someone they sincerely love, purposely hurt them. But we never think that whatever we do will never change anything nor this will make a difference to those who doesn’t care about us.  We are only making ourselves to become a victim of being desperate and we fell into a pit of sadness.

We need to be strong.  We shouldn’t allow failures to take away our dreams in finding happiness.  There’s a reason why God allow failures and sufferings happen in our life.

roseIt is really painful but this will make us stronger and better person.  There’s life even several failed relationships.  There is hope even all our efforts in finding the right person are failed.  We need to be strong in our faith because good things comes to those who believe and strive to be happy inspite of the pain that lingers in our hearts.  Love yourself and love will find you.   Trials will make us stronger, it also gives us strength to face tomorrow with faith and hope that there is still a person who will truly love us after we fall.

Posted in Dark side of the moon

A time for us

There are many moments in a relationship that we are driven to compete with our partners. Our family, friends or even our job become the center of the sensitive issues. We are fighting on how much time we should spend to one another. We begin to selfishly demand for time, that sometimes we have so little of. Most people are arguing on how important spending time with one another. Competition and jealousy is like a poisons that kill a relationship. Sometimes we found out how devastating they are when its too late.

20032107_1774080869275814_706638024213636772_n

Physical presence is very important to a relationship. But in this demanding and challenging world, we should understand our demands. We can spend the day with someone but our hearts and minds are wandering around and far from the person beside us. But we can also spend just a few minutes to that person, and yet, make you feel important and loved.   It’s not a question of how much time we spend with the people we love, but the quality of time that we spend with them. It is not the amount of time that we put into loving someone but it’s the amount of love that we put in the time we spend to that person. When we are challenged with our relationship. We tempt to go away just to prove what we want, to satisfy our ego and hurt the people who love us.

Posted in Dark side of the moon

Let us love ourselves

When someone we love betrays us, we sometimes thought that its already end of the world. So many questions that does not have an answer and there’s always this lingering pain.  A pain that seems never go away no matter what we do. There are always traces of that person in our thoughts and we always look back with regret, regret a lot of things that we have done and never done.

I believe that the most difficult thing that we can do is to forgive those who hurt us. I honestly believe that the first step is forgiveness. Let us forgive ourselves for loving too much, and for allowing others to hurt us. Learn to forgive others for betraying, confusing and hurting us. Instead of blame, let us allow ourselves to receive the gift of forgiveness. This is the only way to the path of healing.

Instead of searching for an answer and asking the reason why people leave us, we should think of ourselves and realize our worth and believe that we deserve someone better. If someone betrays us for who we are, then that person is looking for someone that we are not. We simply do not deserve them.

We have to give ourselves a permission to heal. Let us not waste our time and energy to those who never appreciate our presence. Let us love ourselves and we should tell to ourselves that we don’t deserve to be treated this way! Live our life not relying on others for our happiness but faith on ourselves.

We are all beautiful and we deserve to be happy.

Lotus.jpg

Learn from our experiences and know that no matter how long we spend loving someone who betrayed us, there are always enough time to pick up the pieces. Forgive, trust and eventually find love again.

 

Posted in Dark side of the moon

Life is what we make it

When we are talking about feelings, we shouldn’t think of diplomas, educational attainment or status in life. This feeling sets themselves apart from what is tangible and measurable by money or intelligence. In most instances, heart and not mind is breaking the rules. There are times when our mind says what is right, but our heart is so stubborn.

Even we are aware that we are at the losing end, we let ourselves involved to a situation that is no permanence. Life leaves us with no options but to live a miserable life.

I believe that this is the line that would end. I should have a relationship with countless men who are most of them, I became the subject of their fantasy and desire. I did put an end to this quest because I know what could be lie on the boundary that I’m trying to cross.

 

wonderful

There’s nothing wrong on what we feel, what makes it wrong is when we act foolishly to justify and satisfy our desires. We should not let our heart to rule over our mind. There’s nothing wrong in looking with someone we love, but it is better to love someone who can love us back just as much without breaking the rules. Someone we can be with, without pushing others at the side. Someone who can made us feel important, someone who can love us in a different way and someone we can share our lives with, forever.

Its just a matter of time. Life is a matter of choice and not a chance. Life is what we make it.

Posted in Behind Closed Doors, Dark side of the moon

What would be my turning point?

This post maybe too personal, I may not elaborate further just to protect the life of others.

I could not find a word to express the pain! I become obsessed with my own misery.  In my most broken time, it always runs through my mind all the desperate and abusive things that happen, it may physically or mentally.

I was in a world where no one wanted to live with. I felt worthless all the time.

Being once an abandoned, In my very innocent mind, I don’t have any means to get through from the world I was.  Every day, I was scared and I find my self crying all night long, I could not think of anything.  I grow up alone, no one to talk to, no one protect me on the cruelty of life, neither somebody at my side. This is the adversity of life that i could not explain.

Despite of this, I never stop dreaming. Every day is a struggle but i have to face it! I never stop believing that one day i will overcome all these.

 

JOURNEY

At my lowest, I always found myself in front of my laptop.  Expressing thoughts that only me could imagine. Sometimes i may live in a fantasy as i know my thoughts can relieved me. I have so many friends but because i used to live alone, i always ended up in my room.  I am not used to have someone to comfort me.  I am not also asking for a sympathy.

I am known to be somebody who you can turn to, but strange may seem, i could not help myself!

At this age, am still asking myself… What would be my turning point?