This post maybe too personal, I may not elaborate further just to protect the life of others.
I could not find a word to express the pain! I become obsessed with my own misery. In my most broken time, it always runs through my mind all the desperate and abusive things that happen, it may physically or mentally.
I was in a world where no one wanted to live with. I felt worthless all the time.
Being once an abandoned, In my very innocent mind, I don’t have any means to get through from the world I was. Every day, I was scared and I find my self crying all night long, I could not think of anything. I grow up alone, no one to talk to, no one protect me on the cruelty of life, neither somebody at my side. This is the adversity of life that i could not explain.
Despite of this, I never stop dreaming. Every day is a struggle but i have to face it! I never stop believing that one day i will overcome all these.
At my lowest, I always found myself in front of my laptop. Expressing thoughts that only me could imagine. Sometimes i may live in a fantasy as i know my thoughts can relieved me. I have so many friends but because i used to live alone, i always ended up in my room. I am not used to have someone to comfort me. I am not also asking for a sympathy.
I am known to be somebody who you can turn to, but strange may seem, i could not help myself!
At this age, am still asking myself… What would be my turning point?
Its two o’clock in the morning and here I am, struggling to sleep in this chaos and quite midnight, listening to a never ending classical music, sounds that has always been a great inspiration to m…
Source: What keeps me going?
Its two o’clock in the morning and here I am, struggling to sleep in this chaos and quite midnight, listening to a never ending classical music, sounds that has always been a great inspiration to me, it speak a language that only the heart could understand. I keep on staring at the old books. Old books that have variety of covers that truly inspired me! Books obviously my comforter, it seems it embraces me, helps me to overcome the bumpy road I have to go through and keeps me going. People around me called me hopeless. At a young age I had to struggle financially just to achieve my dream. It’s an eye opening for the unfairness of life the only thing that keeps me going is my passion. Even in my worst time it sometimes turns into a greatest blessing, every obstacle had made me stronger. I live with faith and it makes me the person I want to become. This words serves as my inspiration “if you only believe in yourself, nothing in the world could stop you from reaching the top, to keep our heads up when there’s nothing to look for, to stand where it hurts the most and keep walking to our dreams even if it seems like a dead end at the moment, the rough rocks in our way could make a good bridge to the place we wish to be.
Lord God, help me to open my heart to embrace the world and to receive its embrace in return. Help me to use my ability to Love as a way to heal myself. Lord, Help me in facing the challenges that I am facing today.
Father, teach me to trust in you, to understand that the presence of my problems doesn’t mean that you are not with me. I may not feel it sometimes but I know that you are working ahead of me to work things out for my good. Lord, you know what my heart wished for. I surrender all of my loneliness, fear, and discontents to your divine will. Help me Lord to find the love that will bring glory to your name because I know when it does, it is the one that I could keep and treasure in my heart forever.
Lord, I lift my heart to you forgive me for I have sinned against you.
Lord, I surrender to You with all my heart and soul. Please come into my heart in a deeper way. Jesus, You are Lord of my whole life. I believe in You and receive You as my Lord and Savior. I hold nothing back. I surrender all to you: my everything. I release it, and let it go. I surrender my understanding of how things out to be; my choices and my will. I surrender to You the promises I have kept and the promises I have failed to keep. I surrender my weaknesses and strengths to You. I surrender my emotions, my fears, my insecurities, my everything. Lord, I surrender my entire life to You, the past, the present and the future. In life and in death, I belong to You.